Often a negative thought cycle can begin with just one, thought-less, meaningless negative thought which can quickly spread like a bush fire. If this negative thought cycle is not checked it can serve to destroy your life.
You feel this way because you are used to having negative thoughts.
So, what’s to be done? Well, as this year comes to an end and people are doing the usual round of New Year resolutions, I have been looking back on 2010 and thinking it is time to give you a summary of my musings. These are especially for those of you who are still sitting on the fence as to how you can develop a solid base of self confidence and belief in yourselves.
Firstly, you need to know that you can develop belief in yourself. But you do have to want to and you have to learn to apply methods and techniques in order to to do so. The good news is that you can train yourself to stop struggling and learn to believe that you are your own master and can take control of your circumstances.
Here are some random observations I have made whilst musing and er, observing from my field!
- Stop indulging in excess – food, shopping, alcohol, hours of television are short-term fixes – “shiny new things” so to say, but for long term improvement you need to spend your spare time with more positive “therapies” that help you grow as a person.
- Despite reinventing yourself, remember you are you. Compare yourself with yourself, not with others. Who were you a year, a month, a day ago? Compare yourself with that and then move on from there. If you want to be successful, you have to learn to be comfortable in your own skin. As I have mentioned before, find out what you have to offer society and do it. You too have something good to offer your world.
- Learn to take charge of your destiny: Make a list of things that are getting you down and develop a course of action to combat these things. Decide to make them a thing of the past.
- Learn to trust your instincts. Find out what contributes best to your success and what does not. Learn from the conclusions you have reached.
- Learn to speak well about yourself. Self-deprecating humor works for stand up comedians. Negative thoughts and negative thinking lead to a negative life. Learn to introduce positive statements about yourself. There is however, a fine line between modesty and being unbearable.
- Learn not to let others affect you with their negative outlooks: be careful who you spend time with. Being around positive people that care about you can bring about great changes in your life. You cannot control what other people think so stop trying to. Improve yourself first. Your success will radiate to those around you. Guilt is a learned emotion. In order to be good to others do not feel guilty about being good to yourself.
- Learn to find out what it is you want to achieve and not turn your back on what you are good at. Learn how to incorporate your talents into some part of your life. If you had dreams as a child, do not let your dreams die on you. If you do, you are on the way to becoming an “if only” person spouting I could have, I should have. It is up to you to make every day of your life count for something.
- Moaning about your current life is giving you a hiding for nothing. If you don’t like it, then work towards changing it. Analyze where the need for change exists, base decisions and actions on the results of that analysis. Make tomorrow a better day.
- Learn to become “unstoppable”. Everyone has fears and doubts at the start of the course, but when you jump over the first fence and learn to push aside your fears and self-doubts things can become easier. Our fears are usually based on the unknown. Yesterday is history. What you are looking for might be on the other side of the fence you have to jump. Be prepared for twists and turns along the way.
- What you resist persists: learn to embrace change and transition. What worked before might not work now for the new and improved you as you become more receptive to new things. Accept success unconditionally. You have a valuable contribution to make to this society so decide what it is and make your voice heard. By that I don’t mean become loud and boorish. We horses are sensitive creatures and generally do not like loud people or situations. I mean learn to speak up for yourself. Let your strengths and wisdom come through. Outer strengths reflect inner confidence.
- It is always easier to see the bad in people and this can become a persistent habit. Look for the good. Look for the silver lining. Look for the up after the down. Look for the positive after the negative.
- Learn to not let your emotions master you. This is a huge one and one that Elizabeth is still learning. Emotions can often muddy the facts. Learn to analyse a situation. Obtain information and then work towards solutions. Losing your way in emotional reactions gets you no-where fast. They are a waste of energy and time which could be better spent elsewhere.
- Learn to develop a sense of pride. Which do you prefer – people to feel sorry for you or that people notice your confidence and abilities? Think Rocky: be someone who bounces back after taking a hit, rather than going down and staying down.
- Learn to take charge of your life. Take responsibility for your future. If you rely on others to do it for you, it might just never happen. It is your responsibility to make your life as good as you can take it. Look out for the things you want and need to make your life better. Learn to recognize opportunity when it comes knocking and grab hold of it and make it work for you.
- Learn to use positive words and phrases. Your attitude is an extension of your thoughts and beliefs. Let problems become challenges and the past become history.
Get started today and life might seem just a little more manageable.
Today and everyday think of all the great things that are taking place in your life.
Enjoy your ride!
(Photo: Mittinger www.babystorkz.com)
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