Be your own guru!

Yesterday, Elizabeth was talking to someone who had come to visit her at the stables.

The person she was talking to was obviously quite agitated about something. Elizabeth did not know what it was.

It turned out that the person had been to training session with a new trainer over the weekend. It did not work out as the person had expected. He had not been able to build up the relationship with the trainer he’d hoped to.

Nothing dramatical had either happened or not happened. It was only that the person had been hoping for the trainer to be able to solve all his problems, and he left the session with a sense of dissatisfaction when this did not happen.

He had hoped that this particular trainer would be the one to take him where he wanted to go.

This is not the first time this has happened with this person. He spends most weekends leap-frogging from one trainer to the other, usually with the same results of slight dissatisfaction.

Over the years I’ve had chance to observe many people handling horses, people and even themselves. Often they make a mess of things and blame others for their lack of achievement. If only they realised that their failures provide them with the opportunity to learn and improve.

And therein lies the root of the problem. The only person who can solve your problems is YOU. Yourself.

Trainers, coaches, authors, speakers can show you the way, and show you lots of interesting things, and you can learn from what they know. They can encourage you and motivate you. And advise you.

But the only one who can make any of it work is still YOU and only YOU.

This applies to everything in your life of course.

Some of the tools will work for you, some of the tools will not work for you. All the training courses in the world will not save your day unless you are prepared to put into action what you have learned. And stick at it when your first challenges appear.

If you want to change or improve you have to put in some effort.

Spice the effort up with some good information or education and then you have informed, educated effort. Throw in a touch of determination and then you have determined, educated effort. Add a touch of stickability, which is something all riders out there will know a bit about, and you have a basis for success, or unstopability and you will get to where you want to get to.

You will get to where you want to get to.

You. Not the trainer, the coach, the author, the speaker. YOU.

The trainer can give you education. You have to throw in the remaining effort, determination and stickability. And that is something that only you can provide.

If you keep on changing the trainer, coach, speaker, books or whatever, without ever implementing what you have learned then your results will always come up short. The “guru” can only give you about 25% of what is needed for your success. The remaining 75% of effort, determination and stickability is for you to provide.

Elizabeth has bought many, many diet books over the years. Most of them are lying around gathering dust. She very rarely stuck to any of them. Some of them are still unread. How many of us do a similar thing? We all know that to lose weight we need to change our eating habits and probably move around more. And yet new diet books are appearing every 5 mins or so it seems.

So what was missing with Elizabeth’s effort to lose weight? Effort. Determination. Stickability. The education had already been provided. In this case, the necessary investment of effort was perceived to be worse than the long term pain of failure! No wonder they never worked out!

If you are like most people, your mind will be on auto-pilot and you are not actively choosing your own thoughts. More than likely you are accepting what your mind comes up with. No wonder you don’t get what you want!

It can be very hard to try, hit a few brick walls and yet still keep going until you get the success you want. This approach is obviously a lot harder and a lot less fun than  buying a new gadget or gimmick or shiny new thing with the hope that this will do it for you. All this gives you is a false sense of productivity and the emotional high you get from buying the shiny new thing thing in the first place.

Only YOU can make things happen. If you invest in and implement what you have already learned (education) along with effort, determination and stickability, you will get to where you want to go. You will most likely have to get out of your comfort zone to do it.

You have to learn how to pilot your own plane, so to speak and not rely on the auto-pilot.

Here is an idea: write down all you know about what it is you are trying to do. Write it down by hand on a writing pad. Then, go back and re-read, re-listen to, re-watch all the materials you have that you have already invested in regarding this subject. Edit your notes.

Draw 3 circles in a line going from left to right.

  • In the first circle write the word Be (as in want to be). Draw an arrow to connect it to the next circle.
  • In the second circle write down what you have to do or the action you have to take. Draw an arrow to connect it to the next circle.
  • In the third circle write down the result you want to have.

Do not over analyse. Invest the time in yourself that you would otherwise invest in other people’s products. Measure the results of your activity. Nothing happens until something changes.

See what works for other people. (education). Try it out for yourself (effort, determination). Tweak it and adjust it to make it work for you. And repeat the exercise. (stickability).

You are in charge and you can do anything you want… Start today. Stop defeating yourself.

Enjoy your ride.


(Photo: Mittinger

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